The Pretend Fabulous: He also enjoys the most exclusive of RSVP events that are open to the public: His pretentious demeanor is only outdone by his deluded sense of access. Sweetie, merely walking down Michigan Ave. He probably lives in the suburbs and stays with friends who have nice apartments in the city. Do not be fooled by talk of his fabulous lifestyle or by his Facebook check-ins at the newest places downtown. You, too, can go. Just RSVP. The Year-Old Twink: Hang it up!
This douchebag is well into his 30s, probably pushing 40, but still thinks he's a fresh college grad -- assuming he graduated. I absolutely adore older men and have no problems with older men dating younger men, but there's a fine line between being young at heart and trying to relive one's youth. Guys over 25, don't even bother; he likes them younger than you. As if that weren't enough, he thinks Britney Spears should run for president and has dreams of opening up a hair salon or a boutique one day, even though he's never cut or styled anyone in his life.
If he offers to take you out, save yourself the trite meal at IHOP and keep it moving. The Academic: I just love a brilliant mind.
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It's sexy! However, this douchebag completely forgot that the whole point of education is to help people, not to use it against them.
It's true that he probably graduated from an Ivy League school or some small liberal arts college on the East Coast, and he will surely never let you forget it, either. Because he's lacking in other areas, he'll hide behind his education and will be that guy who talks foreign policy at Hydrate -- and on the dance floor, no less. He'll have a reason, a statistic and a mathematical equation explaining why guys reject him time and time again.
Of course, it's never his academic superiority complex. Send this douchebag back to school to learn some social skills and free yourself of his holier-than-thou attitude.
The Sidekick: This annoying little pest is usually the unfortunate-looking friend of the hot guy who is trying to talk to you in the club. Obnoxious in personality, he thinks he is being funny, but really he's being just another douchebag. He definitely has a crush on his hot friend and will stop at nothing to prevent you from hooking up with that hot friend. He'll conveniently position himself between you and his friend on the dance floor, he'll consistently interject himself into other conversations and he will try to make you overlook his shameless antics by buying all of you shots of bottom-shelf liquor -- the worst.
Hot guys are a dime a dozen in Boystown, so find another one who has a witty wingman and not a sloppy sidekick. The Homo Thug: Attention, all homo thugs: Blasting rap as you drive with your seat back in a Cutlass does not make you straight or give you any type of street cred.
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This douchebag wouldn't dare step foot in a gay establishment, because he ain't on dat gay shit, man. He has a girlfriend but probably sings better falsettos in bed than she does, given that he's really a power bottom. His connection to the gay community is through Grindr, Adam4Adam, Manhunt or any one of those gay social networking sites. He likes to keep things on the down low, and in his profile he claims he's a top. Don't bother with him. In fact, roll him a fat one, give it to him and tell him to get off that straight shit already, man.
The Halsted Street Socialite: These douchebags are very popular in Boystown because they either work on Halsted Street or frequent the bars so much that management has approached them to sell stock. Many but not all, by any means who work on Halsted Street are douchebags of a different variety. My parents taught me that no matter what job you have, from cleaning the floor of a place to owning it, you should approach it with a sense of pride. I firmly believe this and still follow this rule today. Therefore, I love seeing bartenders, doormen, bar backs and managers excited about their jobs and performing them efficiently, and for the most part I've had pleasant interactions with them.
But there is a handful of employed douchebags who truly believe that they own the venue where they are working, or even Halsted Street, for that matter.
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Oh, I'm sorry, but last I checked, you were just sitting people down for bottle service, not paying the rent for the place. These douchebags are the Halsted Street equivalent of the Pretend Fabulous, because they use their perceived fancy social scene and work environment as leverage to mistreat people. Unfortunately, I suggest getting acquainted with these douchebags, because in 10 years they will be working at the exact same job. The Grindr Geek: This douchebag is actually more of an addict but still a douchebag. He spends a lot of time on Adam4Adam, Manhunt, OKCupid, Craigslist and probably a few other startup social networking sites and mobile apps, but Grindr is his first choice.
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His familiarity with the guys of Boystown is strictly limited to their online profiles, and his longest, most intimate relationship lasted for about characters. There's no need to try to avoid this douchebag, because he spends all his time looking at his smartphone anyway.
The Mean Girl: This douchebag never has anything positive to say and hates on everyone and everything. Boystown is his high school, and he thinks he's Queen B.
Here are some of the reasons I have received for not being asked on a second date:. This is a personal favorite of mine. For the past year or dating, I have made the conscious effort to NOT state what it is I am looking for upon meeting someone in person or online. I am very happy to remain single. I have a wonderful career, great friends and an amazing family that keep me pretty busy. Should an awesome guy enter the equation — great. But a partner is neither going to define who I am or make or break my future. If someone reaches out to speak to me, I ask them what they are looking for because I am amenable.
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I am happy to have fun, meet new friends or go on dates in the hopes that it turns into a relationship. If not, then why go on a date in the first place? There are an endless amounts of ways for gay men to get their dick sucked in large metropolitan areas: This seems a pretty fair assessment to me.
You may end up being pleasantly surprised by what you find. This excuse for not meeting again is the oldest and lamest of them all. We are all busy at work, and honestly, I would expect nothing less from the person I am dating. I love a man with drive. Again, I am calling bullshit on this excuse. We all have jobs and lives: If you are not in a position to date someone right now, you should not be going on dates. Unless you plan to date a newborn baby, we all have baggage. We all have pasts and sometimes the things that have happened to us in the past can be very traumatic.
I have found that most strong-willed people can take that baggage and turn it into a positive, therefore making themselves a better person in the process. We all have exes. We all have problems with our jobs or strive for something better. Like I said, we are all in different places and some of our baggage is heavier than others. But asking questions and being honest usually does the trick.
It is not, however an acceptable excuse to not see someone again. Because if you are going on an initial date: Here is my favorite of the bullshit excuses for not getting together with someone again. If someone approaches me, I ask what they are looking for and take it from there. It happens. For example, a grown ass man recently took me out on a date and told me via text and in person multiple times that he was looking for that someone special.
Upon being called out, he proceeded to block me on all forms of social media. My biggest pet peeve in life especially in our current political climate is having someone say something to me and then pretend it never happened. There are boundless ways for us to communicate, which should make it very simple for these misunderstandings to never happen in the first place. The only person this really hurts in the long run is the person who does the ghosting. I understand that we are attached to our devices at all times nowadays and correspondence can oftentimes seem meaningless.
However, there are actual real-life people on the other end of those screens and those people have these pesky little things called: When you continuously disappear to get out of telling someone you are not interested or out of any problem in life for that matter, you are not actually dealing with anything at all. It may be easy to vanish from thin air, but trust me, the ghosts of your past have ways of coming back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to run from them.
The only applicable excuse for not seeing someone on a second date or breaking things off with them is this:. See how easy that is? No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. And for some reason, many gay men think something perfect is right around the corner, thus continuing this endless cycle of first dates without a second date.
Yes, it stings.
Rejection stings one way of the other. Dating is hard. But when it happens time and time again, we build a resolve that makes us jaded, biter and nasty toward the very group of people we are trying to date. Why make plans with someone for a second date when you have no intention of seeing them again?